Cinnamon Rolls

I would like to call these "Fool Proof Cinnamon Rolls" but I'm not going to. Whenever I see a recipe for cinnamon rolls labeled as "Fool Proof" - I try them - I screw them up. 

Cinnamon rolls, before this day, have been my kryptonite!!

Either the bread wouldn't rise properly, or I wouldn't roll the dough out enough so there was too much bread and not enough filling, or the filling would drain out completely leaving me with this delicious caramel glaze in the bottom of the pan - delicious, but not what I wanted.

I had given up all hope of ever making a decent cinnamon roll, regardless of how "fool proof" the recipe was!!

Not for lack of talent though - Creme Brulee?! YES! Mousse of the chocolate and pumpkin variety (my latest accomplishment) Absolutely!! Dinner rolls?! Anytime!!

I am pretty decent in the kitchen when it comes to baking skills but for some reason, the cinnamon roll has always been "the one that got away". Until now!! Today! On this very day, October 29th, 2014, I have accomplished the impossible - I have made some pretty darn tasty cinnamon rolls!!!!!

Here is the recipe - which is compilation of 2 different recipes:

Rolls (which come from here):

3/4 C Milk
4 Tbl Butter cut into cubes
3/4 C Hot water
1/4 C Sugar
1 tsp Salt
4-5 C flour
1 heap Tbl Yeast

Microwave milk and butter 1 min, stir, microwave an additional 30 seconds. Pour into mixing bowl with Hot water, sugar, salt and 2 C of flour. Mix with dough hook for 1 min. With the mixer on low, add in yeast, and then slowly add in the remaining 2-3 C flour until the dough no longer sticks to the bowl. Mix 5 minutes. After 5 mins turn mixer off, remove bowl and let the dough set for 5 mins. Preheat the oven to 170  - - -

This is where you can decide to either finish out the dinner roll instructions which are: Grease pan, sharp knife and counter, turn dough out and cut into 12 or 24 equal portions, Roll into shape and place in pan. OR you can decide to take the cinnamon roll route which goes as follows.

Filling (which I got here)
1/2 C Butter
3/4 C Sugar (I used brown)
2 Tbl Cinnamon
3/4 C raisins, nuts, chocolate chips, boogers...whatever it is that you put in your cinnamon rolls - my family is full of weirdos, and they don't like "stuff" in their rolls, so I left this particular step out..

I mostly melted the butter, which means I took 2 of my adorable 1/4 c sticks of butter out of the fridge, unwrapped them, put them in a bowl (do I really need to add those steps in?!) and microwaved it until it started popping (oops! added chore to my list) and then I took it out and mushed *yes mushed* the unmelted butter into the melted butter, making it....mostly melted.
Anywho. Add the sugar and cinnamon to your mostly melted butter and stick it in the fridge (you heard me!! Stick your mostly melted butter, sugar and cinnamon BACK into the fridge) Now, turn out your dough on to your greased and floured counter and roll that sucker out until it's uhmmmmm I don't know. Cinnamon roll thickness?! what is that!? 1/4-1/2 inch?!
So roll it out until it's 1/3 inch in thickness and then spread that sugary goodness all over it!!!! so that it looks like this:

YUM right?!
Ok. Next your going to roll it up. Start from the long side, and take a deep breath, because this is where the patience is required. Remember you want the cinnamon roll to be good to you later, so don't be mean to it now!! Roll that delicious little bundle up until it' looks like a log. Now go get some floss. YES FLOSS!!! Take some floss, mine is minty in case you were wondering (and no it didn't alter the taste), and slide it under the middle of your log, bring your floss together and pull tight....if you're doing it right, it should have cut your cinnamon roll log perfectly, and by perfectly, what I really mean is - you have 2 logs instead of one.... Good!
Now, cut those halves in half, and those halves in half and so on and so forth until you have....6x4 issss....24. Approximately 24 cinnamon rolls. Put them in your buttered AND Sugared baking dish....Yes. I want you to smear butter all over the inside of your dish and then sprinkle sugar (white sugar) all over the butter!!!

Put those in the oven that is sitting at 170* for 20 mins. When the timer goes off, DON'T TAKE THEM OUT OF THE OVEN!!! Reset the oven for 350* and the timer for 15-20 mins.  When THAT timer goes off, your house should smell amazing, your family will shower you with roses and hugs and kisses and your husband will consider calling in sick so that he can stay home and take care of the kids so that you can run away for a few hours!!!!!!! Well that was fun. Now, back to reality.

Take them out of the oven and let them set on the back of the stove for a few mins while you make up whatever kind of icing or frosting you like to put on your cinnamon rolls.  - We favor the cream cheese variety.

There you have it. Cinnamon rolls!!! Now. take one, and go hide in the closet with your music so you can't hear the kids trashing the house!